Jae and I saw a sweet little porcupine bumbling through the ditch tonight. All kinds of cute!

We saw him again on the drive home, only this time he was in several messy pieces on the road.

: (

It’s been several months since I’ve had a spider in my apartment, and so I knew it was only a matter of time before another encounter.  I’ve been having horrible dreams about spiders, and I had a feeling there would be one any day now.  My apartment is a mess.  There’s no way I could be so lucky to go this long without an attack.

I came inside from doing the shopping and just as I closed the door behind me, a huge motherfucking spider comes straight down from the ceiling on a thread, wiggling its disgusting legs menacingly.  Hideous and black.  ‘OH FUCK,’ I yell to the people in the hallway.  ‘OH FUCK!’ I yell to myself as it soars down the side of the door.

Thank god I hadn’t taken my runners off yet and was able to kick it with my foot.  It hit the floor and wiggled and I hit it again so it was dead.  I then moved away and slumped down on the floor, panting as though I’d run a marathon.  Living at home meant I could scream for someone else to rid them for me, but being alone means I’m pretty much screwed in terms of getting help with my fear.  Either I kill it, or it wins.  Fucking cocksucker of a spider.  Black and horrible and omfg it was horrible.  The size of a loonie, I swear.  Augh, now I’m all jittery!

I can’t believe people go out of their way to save these things.

Once again I am out of food.  Why am I so good at eating?  Why can’t I be good at building with lego or something?  No.  I’m good at eating.  So, so good at eating.

Tomorrow I shall eat the last of my bread and go shopping again.  I hate grocery shopping.  I need to hire some poor bitch to do my shopping for me.

Augh, George Bush, STFU.  You’re annoying and I’m too lazy to change the channel.

Of course, it’s on the said channel because of Big Brother.  Dick and Daniele for the win!  Woo!  Hooray!  Huzzah!

No really, STFU sir.  Reading a letter from a dead soldier’s family doesn’t make you any less-annoying, especially when you only read letters of support.  Hell, any letter would be annoying.  This man irritates me.

Ew, Katie Couric.  I’m going back to sleep.

It’s 2°C (-5°C with the windchill) right now, and it’s supposed to snow tomorrow. Where the heck did the year go? It feels like I saw Dad yesterday and went to work last Tuesday. Time fliiiieeeessss. I didn’t go job hunting today or yesterday because it was raining like a bitch. Whatever, I can handle snow.

Tonight I saw ‘Mr Bean’s Holiday’ with Sheldon (there was a grand total of four other people at the cinema) before we went back to his place to play BioShock. It’s one of those games I like to watch being played, but wouldn’t touch if my life depended on it. It’s an amazing game, fantastic environments and a brilliant plot, but holy balls is it frightening. There goes any chance of sleep ever. Scary stuff. Check it out.

BioShock has received “universal acclaim” from critics and has been reviewed very highly. At Game Rankings, BioShock holds an average review score of 96% for the Xbox 360, making it the highest rated Xbox 360 game released to date and the 7th highest rated game of all time, and 96% for the PC, making it the highest rated PC game released to date and the 8th highest ranked game of all time.

I’m pretty much updating to complain about the weather. The end.

My apartment is a huge mess and has been for months. I am finally ‘in the groove’ to clean it up, and I’m SO EXCITED.

Anybody who knows me knows I caught this horrible thing from my dad called tolerance for squalour. I’m not as bad as my dad, as his squalour often involved bogey rags and old food. My squalour is clean squalor, where it’s really just clutter. Clutter that eats everything alive, that is. It’s pretty embarrassing, but I let it slide because I know that one day, the groove will kick in.

What is the groove? The groove is this stroke of inspiration that hits me every few months, and has done so for my entire life. I’ll be sitting around, minding my own when I suddenly realise, god, this mess is annoying. I begin to squirm and I begin to twitch and I don’t stop until everything is clean. I throw away mountains of garbage and things I don’t need. I organise drawers. I make my life liveable.  If the groove doesn’t hit me for an extended period of time, I get very depressed and must change something.  Ultimately, that’s why I moved out.  I hadn’t cleaned my bedroom in ages.

Why I can’t make myself do this on command is beyond me, but I’m glad my mother put up with it. Right now, it’s hit me, and I want nothing more than to dive into my living room and CLEAN IT UP. I’m going to take before and after photos. this is it: The Big Clean.

If you know me really well, you’ll know that I can’t stop myself when the groove hits. Even if I’m at somebody else’s house, I’ll clean their bedroom or wash their dishes. At work I’d clean places that hadn’t been cleaned in years, or organise a shelf to no end. Hell, I still go in there and do it sometimes.

Jenine is coming over tomorrow night, so I’m happy I’ll be able to have a seat for her on the couch. I just wish it wasn’t always 11:30 PM when this sort of thing strikes.

Omg omg omg I love Dr. Phil. I love his guests. I love his life.

World’s most batshit guest ever. I learned to admit I was wrong when I was fifteen. GOD YES I LOVE IT LONG TIME. This is seriously beautiful. She’s yelling at him into the commercial.

Ahaha, it’s back on, YES! This bitch is such a moron it’s 100% awesome.

I get into various food kicks now and then.  One week I’ll eat mostly sandwiches, the next it’ll be chicken soup, then rice, then Kraft Dinner, then samosas, etc., etc.  After being on the food kick for a few days, I run out very quickly and need to go to the grocery store often to stock up.  It’s the same with drinks.  Stupidly enough, it seems that whenever I’m good and happy with a certain food, I stock up on lots of it at one time, only to get home and realise I don’t want it anymore.  I have carrots sitting abandoned.  More than once have I bought 300 grams of honey ham to not eat it.  It’s always the perishable items, too.  ‘I love honey ham sandwiches this week, so I will love it next week, SO I WILL STOCK UP!’  I r a dumbass.

I’ve been drinking a lot of milk lately.  Sometimes I add chocolate sauce to make it chocolate milk.  I put it on my cereal and everything.  It was at the point where my 1 litre carton was running out in only two days.  Yesterday, after much debate with an old man at Safeway, I bought the 2 litre carton.  It’s not like adding another 50g to some honey ham, it’s twice as much!  Holy balls, I hope I can drink it all.

So yeah.  This is the kind of crap I wasn’t posting on LiveJournal.  Surprised?

My first actual post. I’m way too tired to come up with anything better. I keep wanting to group things together into a long post, but that’s entirely not the point of this blog. Bah.

Watching the Big Brother Live Feed makes me mental. These bitches don’t go to bed until 5AM. WTF. They get up mid-afternoon, but until then, they’re up and running. None of this ever airs on the TV show. Everything on TV usually happens between the hours of 4:00 PM and 10:00 PM. They’re lazier than I am. Hooray!

I started writing a song about the Hogwarts Express but promptly forgot it. I wish I was in a wizard rock band.

Oh ho ho, I be testing my dumb blog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.